The Evil Eye Cafe

Requiem for Two Restaurants

2008-07-22T16:30:00.006-04:00

It's been a rough restaurant week for the crew around here.

Our very favorite Chinese restaurant, the little family owned one right downtown, went out of business. I'm not sure how long ago this happened because we haven't been there in about two months. We tried to go on Thursday and found a strange CLOSED sign on the door. A bum sitting on the step outside (Charming, yes I know) told us they retired after being in business for 25 years. Oh, how this breaks my heart.

I started going to Bok Haw in junior high with my BFF Amanda. We would spend entire afternoons there drinking gallons of tea and sipping chicken rice soup. Later on, it was a main date spot for The Man and I. And lately it's been a favorite for my junior high aged kids. What was really great (or maybe just odd) about the place was that it never, ever changed. The menu was always exactly the same. By the same I mean not just the same items but physically the same laminated sheets of paper, so the prices never changed over the years either. The decor, from the wall hangings to the place mats, was exactly the same from the first time that I went there to the last as well. It was a restaurant stuck in time and now it's gone.

The other restaurant is one that has been in slow decline over the years. This weekend they dealt out their own death blow.

Joe Boccardi's is a little pizza place that a bit of drive, but was always worth it. They made pizza with this super thin (like a cracker) crust. It had super sticky cheese and amazing toppings. They had giant, breaded mushrooms that were to die for as well as homemade beer battered onion rings.

And then they got a new owner. And then another. And then another. And then another. Each owner drove the quality down and the prices up. Last Friday we made a stop there after picking up the Girl from camp. They no longer have thin crust pizza and the mushroom and onions rings tasted like they were dumped from a bag into a deep fryer. The pizza that finally came was doughy and tasteless. The whole experience was a waste and I'm done with it.

So, goodbye Bok Haw and Boccardi's (of old). You'll be missed.

The first sunflower

2008-07-17T11:39:00.007-04:00

My Mother's Day gift this year was for the ugliest part of my yard to be dug up, turned over and then planted with dozens and dozens of sunflower seeds. Previously that patch of Earth contained a very nasty thorn bush, a scraggly holly bush and an assortment of weeds that we mowed down now and then but flourished in the sunny space. Today it looks like this.

The other side of that window is the kitchen sink and very soon my view will be sunflowers and not the neighbor's porch. And yes, there are too many and they are too close together and I don't care.

Here's the first flower, right on the verge of blooming. This is from one of the mid sized flowers that the package claimed would bloom in a variety of colors.

My planting technique on these seeds was the key to their success. I opened the packages over the newly turned dirt and then walked all over them. I'm fussy like that.

A few pictures

2008-07-11T22:27:00.005-04:00

I didn't take many pictures on the trip, but here's a few from the cave. We took two separate tours of the cave. Each tour was two hours long and involved climbing, ducking and squeezing through tight spaces. Here's the entrance. It gets cold and dark fast.

Here's The Man trying not to hit his head on the low ceiling. There were plenty of moments like this.

And moments like this where this was all the room you had to walk. Sometimes it would be a narrow path like this combined with a low ceiling.

The first tour was a dry part of the cave so there were no stalactites or stalagmites. That was the main reason we went on the second tour so we could see things like this.

The thing about a cave is that it's pretty dark in there, so the majority of the pictures we took didn't come out. Or the pictures came out, but it doesn't do the formation any justice, like this one which is called Frozen Niagara. I guess that's why they sell books of good pictures in the gift shops.

Home Again

2008-07-11T10:25:00.004-04:00

We made it home. At least three of us have. The Boy won't be home until Saturday morning. The trip back from Dayton was the longest, most frustrating ride that we've been on in a long, long time. The world was throwing everything it could in our way to keep us from reaching home: Traffic, traffic, traffic, accidents, traffic, construction, traffic, every red light and then a frelling train! It took forever!

Mammoth Cave is...mammoth...and cavey. Combined the Man and I must have said WOW! probably close to a thousand times. It is an amazing place. Be warned that the area around the National Park is completely littered with the most cheesy, old school tourist traps that can be imagined. They make you start to doubt whether you've made a correct choice in vacation destination. But in the end the cave is almost too much for words. You've just got to go and see it for yourself.

I found lots of pressed penny machines on our trip and came home with nine new pennies: Two from King's Island, two from the museum in Cincinnati, one from the Mammoth Cave hotel lobby, one from a scary roadside gift shop, another from an even scarier gift shop and two from the Air Force Museum in Dayton. We went to that museum just to kill time while we waited to pick up the girls from Wright State University. It was in the area, had free admission and a penny machine. We only had an hour but you could spend all day in there. It was much more interesting than I thought it would be.

Marco was very happy to come home as well. He's a crazy car rider anyway, but when we pulled up the driveway he started flipping out because he recognized home. The cats seem to have missed us as well, especially Meg who is constantly at my heels or staring at Marco while he sleeps.

Today was all about laundry, getting groceries and laying around watching the Project Runway marathon. The new season starts Wednesday and The Girl has laid down serious threats if we don't tape it for her.

From the road

2008-07-08T10:25:00.006-04:00

The Man: "Do you want to come down to the [loud, crowded, smoky, room full of games you don't like to play] casino with me or do you want to stay here in the [amazing, beautiful, spacious, quiet, quite possibly the best] hotel room?

Me: I'll stay here.

Hello from the road! Sunday we delivered the girls to Dayton with no trouble at all. Their dorm rooms were so nice that it made The Man extremely jealous since the dorms in Vermont were old and creepy. After we left them, we headed down to Cincy, just to look around. There is a lovely park and walkway down by the river that we strolled along for awhile. There were tons of ski-dos and boats in the river as well as this giant barge.

Yesterday we spent the whole day at King's Island. I always wanted to go as a kid so this was a childhood dream come true! They have got some excellent roller coasters there, a few lousy ones and one that is so bad it should just be torn down now. We rode The Beast and then got right back in line and did it again. The first time we rode it, as we were leaving the station another train went over us. A little girl from somewhere in that train yelled "It's a jerky ride!" as a warning to our car. Since nowhere on the ride were we insulted about what we were wearing or had smoke blown in our face, she must have meant all the bumps and knock about that the ride gave out. At one point The Man yelled "I got jacked in the ribs!" I couldn't stop laughing about that.

This shot was taken by a Cedar Fair executive who was happening by. That makes it official!

The Man is back and he's up $15. Time to blow out of here. Cincinnati museums today because it's supposed to be sticky and hot. Tomorrow it's Mammoth Cave!

And we're off!

2008-07-05T17:49:00.004-04:00

The lists are made and are being gradually checked off. Marco is already at boarding and probably having a wonderful time if I know him. I'm trying to let the kids pack themselves without breathing down their necks. It's not going well. Whenever they pass through a room I start peppering them with "Did you remember...". Luckily, no one seems too annoyed with this so far. I haven't even started packing the Man and myself at all yet. At least all the laundry is done.

There may be pictures from the road. Or maybe not. At any rate, I'll catch you up on all our adventures next week.

Going to see "Hancock"? Take your Dramamine!

2008-07-02T17:02:00.002-04:00

My head still feels like it's in a fog, like I have the tail end of a very bad hangover.

I was really looking forward to seeing Hancock today. We all love Will Smith, love Will Smith action movies. This one, about an unwilling superhero, seemed like it was going to be gold.

You can go ahead and read the real reviews from people who get paid to think long and hard about movies. I'm sure they'll have quite a bit to say about it. I have two things of my own to comment on.

There isn't one steady shot in the whole movie. Even if it was a scene involving just two people sitting at a table it was all done with jittering, stomach turning hand cam work. Usually in a movie like this there are points where the director pulls out a tripod now and then letting the audience catch their breath and spinning heads, but not this movie. It was nonstop wiggling, sometimes small and other times huge and sweeping. I'm starting to get queasy again just thinking about it.

My other complaint is that this was not a PG-13 movie. Okay, technically it is or else it wouldn't have the rating, but it was dancing on the very thinnest of edges of R. A better warning would be "PG-13 For Real!" It has tons of language, including the eff word more than once. I was okay with my two 13 year olds going to this, but there are going to be some very angry parents of younger kids who are not expected the amount bad words this movie contains.

Consider yourself warned. Take your Dramamine and leaving your eight year old nephew at home.

All in all, I would rather go and see Ironman for a third time. *sigh*

Nothing to whine about, but still

2008-07-01T09:17:00.009-04:00

I am going to apologize in advance for this list of my current annoyances. None of them are earth shattering. None of them are even very worthy of note. Bear with my anyway.

All four of us are going to be out of town next week. The Boy will be at camp. The Girl will be at a different camp (of sorts). The grown-ups are taking advantage of this absence of kids by hitting the road in search of adventure. The problem comes with the other child in our life.

Our favorite kennel is booked up and has no room for him next week. He is WAY too much trouble (i.e. giant, hairy, noisy, needy) to put on any family member or friend, so I forsee an unknown kennel with insane rates in our future--if we can find one that has space for him. I don't even want to think about about the other side of that IF.

Let's keep going with Marco. I love rabbits as much as the next person (that next person being Nance). Unfortunately, Marco doesn't see them as cute and wonderful. They are his mortal enemies. Marco's main goal this time of year is to protect our home from the attacking hordes of bunnies coming from every direction. His main weapon? Tremendously loud barking. He has a special bark just for bunny attacks and it will cut right through a previously calm person and make them start screaming out the back door "Will you just shut the #$% up already?" Just the other day I spotted a rabbit in the neighbors yard. I ran over and scared it away before the dog spotted it. That is what it has come to.

I can't find the Good keys. We have two sets of keys for the van, aptly named Good and Bad. The Good set has my Girl Scout fob, a few choice keys and the clicker that works. The Bad set has just the van key and the clicker that went through the wash. The Good set has been missing for more than a week, and I'm running out of places to look. I do not want to go on vacation with the Bad set.

Do you know Real Simple? This magazine has happily filled the gap in my reading material since we outgrew Family Fun. While I love it, the thing is gigantic and chuck full of ads. I can't just flip through it, because it's too easy to miss the articles buried in all the ads. In response to this, I have to read the magazine in the nerdiest fashion ever, front to back, using a bookmark. I get about halfway through it when the next month's issue shows up. The result will be that it will take me two years to read my one year subscription.

If you've ever been in our backyard you know we have the granddaddy of all oak trees out there. Last fall, for the first time since we lived here, that tree dropped billions of acorns. They were small, marble sized, but the entire yard was carpeted with acorns. It was unreal. We were slipping and sliding on them all over the place. Now, as nature intended, there are baby oak trees growing EVERYWHERE. In the grass, in the ivy, right in the center of the roses, in flower pots, every sidewalk crack... anywhere a little acorn could have rolled, it did and now is growing. You could spend all day out there (and I have lost many days) pulling up little trees and it still looks the same. Even sitting here typing about them is getting me all worked up. I've got to go pull up some trees right now!

Not about day camp... and yet all about day camp

2008-06-26T21:42:00.006-04:00

I've started two post this week about being at Day Camp. But since they were boring as hell to write, I figured they would be twice as boring for you to read. This is the second year that Fearless Co-Leader and I worked the role of Business Managers which is the sweetest gig at camp. Here's the whole week at a glance.

Monday: We were in charge of overseeing the tie-dyeing of 150 shirts. My nails still look like Easter eggs.

Tuesday: Pretended to look busy most of the morning. Ducked out of camp on the pretense of buying charcoal (which we actually did buy), but also went out for lunch and showed up back at camp in time for closing flag.

Wednesday: Went to four different stores and spent about $350 on food for...

Thursday: Cook day at camp. Some units had successful meals. Some units had disasters. The Ad Staff cooked for ourselves and it was the single best day camp lunch I've ever had.

Tomorrow: Peering into the future I see us organizing tons of equipment before Ed shows to pick it up at noon. After that we'll just wandering around until it's time to pick-up the Popsicles.

That's about all you need to know about day camp. Now to share with you the song I've had stuck in my head all damn week making me crazy. Poor Fearless also had to suffer because she had to listen to me sing it.

We camped!

2008-06-20T13:26:00.005-04:00

We are back and we survived just fine.

All in all I would rate this trip as fairly successful. True, it was grey and cold the whole time, but it never rained beside one extremely brief shower so we were extremely lucky. The meals went over well. There was no spatting or nastiness between the girls at all. Far from it, they were all so friendly and happy with each other that they talked constantly. There attitude toward us, the poor adults, was less than warm at times, but not unexpected. We stopped taking it personally a long time ago. Our girls are not crafty and have never been, but still we try to do at least one craft on trips like this. The craft this time went so horribly bad that it very well could be the last craft we ever attempt.

An action shot of the Girl filling her air mattress. We may be Girl Scouts, but nobody likes to sleep on the ground!

I mentioned it was cold? Even so, East Harbor has a beach and the girls insisted on going. And since the new model of our troop is "Let the girls lead" we took them to the beach. The sane adults sat on the cozy sand and watched a dozen crazy girls go bounding off into the water. When they all emerged, a very short time later, shivering and blue they admitted that it was a mistake to go. I'm not an "I told you so" kind of person, but inside I was cheering. Back at camp warm showers, building up the fire and hot cocoa happened in quick succession.

An unexpected highlight of the trip was a visit that I arranged by a park ranger. We were originally going to take a tour of Toft's Ice Cream, but they cancelled on us. Plan B involved the park ranger talk. Luckily, this woman was extremely interesting and complex. She had been with the park system for 18 years and had seen quite a bit of crazy stuff. On top of that, she raced sailboats, spoke Latvian and went to Ohio State on a volleyball scholarship. The girls listened like angels, asked intelligent questions and answered her questions maturely. I couldn't have been more proud.

The grand finale of the trip was Cedar Point. Cold, grey, but the lines weren't very long. We cut the girls loose with check-in times and made a very full day of it. I rode the Millennium Force for the first time and it truly deserves the title of best roller coaster in the world. Wow!

Off Camping!

2008-06-16T14:36:00.004-04:00

Wish us luck! The Girl and I are leaving here in just a few minutes for East Harbor State Park with the troops. The weather looks iffy at best, but not exceedingly hot, which is all good by me. This is our first ever tent camp out that didn't involve someones backyard. Can we handle it? We're about to find out.

After two days of camping we are spending the third at Cedar Point. Whether or not this is a good idea we will also soon discover as well!

Dance Recital '08

2008-06-09T14:02:00.007-04:00

The big dance recital was yesterday afternoon. This year the whole production was moved from the high school auditorium all the way to the Palace Theater in Lorain. The reason behind the move was that this program is now so frigging huge that we needed more space for the audience. Also the way that the tickets were handled when the show was done here at home was a complete nightmare every year. The Palace knew how to sell tickets to an unwieldy number of people... or so we thought.

I bought my tickets over the phone 15 minutes after they went on sale the first day. I had to buy eleven seats and I certainly wasn't going to wait around. They came in the mail the very next day and that was one more thing I could check off my to do list.

While we are all nestled down in our seats yesterday, a very nice woman came up to me.

"Excuse me, I think you are sitting in my seat." She is very sweet and apologetic, but I'm thinking no way sister.

She shows me her ticket and I show her mine and they are for the same seat. Exactly the same seat. I look around the theater and there seems to be people having the same conversation all over the place. Some are confused, some are getting really angry. The theater has double sold seats.

My co-seat owner and I head for the box office where there is literally a mob. Angry, angry people waving tickets and pieces of paper at one lone woman with a headset on looking on the verge of tears. Finally a official looking guy shows up and announces that if two people have tickets for the same seat then it will be first come, first serve and the theater will find a seat for the second person. My double and I shrug and smile at each other.

"That's okay," she says, "I'm sure they'll find someplace for me." So I stroll my very sassy little dress back to my seat. Behind me, voices are rising and I hear a man holler something about "outrageous incompetence". Ooooh. Not good.

I took only one picture yesterday and that was in the van on the way there.

I didn't any take pictures during the show, not because of any restrictions (there were flashing cameras the entire time), but because whenever the Girl was on the stage I started weeping copiously. Truly. During the number when she's up on pointe, I had myself worked up to one big heaving sob. I can't help it. I usually cry a little bit, but this year I was really pathetic. Proud mommy overload. She's just looks so grown up when she's dancing. She's a long way from this blurry five year old getting ready to leave for her first recital.

I did take pictures at Picture Day two weeks ago, pictures of her getting her picture taken. Here's her ballet costume.

And her jazz costume which I had to completely remake because it was entirely too big for her. Thank goodness it's black!

And here's the pointe costume along with Girl Who Thinks She Lives At My House #2.

Summertime in spades

2008-06-07T09:21:00.004-04:00

When summer vacation starts around here, we don't mess around. School ended at 2:15 and we all came to a grinding halt. Hence that is why you get to read about the last day of school two days later.

On Wednesday they had the awards ceremony at school, which despite how they attempted to streamline the whole process it was still tediously long. They called all the kids up alphabetically, so if we were seated more near the door and less behind a wall of people, the Man and I could have slipped out exactly one minute after the program started. Next year, better planning.

The kiddos both got awards for have giant hard working brains which makes this mommy extremely proud. I'm still not exactly sure where all this big brained activity comes from. These two get grades that neither of their parents even came close to in school. Is it a twin thing? Whatever it is, I hope it lasts.

So here's the girl with her awards already poised on the couch for the next three months. The purple one is the big brain award. She also has student council, drama club and a cheesy little palm tree trophy for being in that play last month.

And the boy. Big brain, drama club, cheesy tree and again this year, perfect attendance. What is wrong with this boy? He is also camped on the couch for the summer. Right after this shot he asked me to bring him a freeze pop. Summer is here!

Secret Post: I'm not supposed to write about this but it's such a strange story that I must. I'll be very vague so no one will know what I'm talking about. There's this writer that I know who had a poem published in a fairly well known magazine. A few days ago he got a letter in the mail from someone who also tried to publish a poem in the same magazine, around the same time, about a similar topic but theirs was rejected. This other someone just wanted our writer to know that "I think my poem is better than yours". It's was a fairly polite letter in total, so it doesn't fall into the catergory of hate mail. I guess you would have to call it "Critical Mail" if anything. But in any case, it was a first.

Turning Japanese

2008-06-03T20:51:00.005-04:00

I can't write long because lately, meaning this past week, all of our extra time has been taken up with watching Japanese television.

We didn't have G4 as a channel for awhile but since they've rearranged the cable line up it's back. G4 is a very grown up channel as is evident by the commercials, but these Japanese shows are just plain fun. They grab you and make you stick in front of the TV for huge amounts of time.

Ninja Warrior is a show where they start with 100 contestants that have to get through 4 stages of obstacles. The first stage is so tough that usually only 2 or 3 people make it through. The next three stages are so impossible that it just takes your breath away that anyone can get through even a fraction of the course. I sit on the edge of my seat during the whole thing. I cheer when someone succeeds and it breaks my heart when someone almost makes it and falls just short.

Unbeatable Banzuke has these intense challenges that competitors have to get through. It's not uncommon for no one to succeed for the entire show. Today's show had a hand walk challenge and a stilt walking challenge. They were both so tough that I probably couldn't even handle doing the courses on my feet!

I've got to get back to the TV now. Check a little out for yourself.

Praying Mantis Attack!

2008-06-01T19:30:00.006-04:00

Okay, it wasn't an attack. Nothing like it in fact but this story does have to do with insects in large numbers.

Saturday Grammy and Poppa called with big news. The praying mantis pod that they found a couple of weeks before had hatched and there were hundreds of praying mantis babies in the jar! Later on in the day we went to see the insect explosion. It was true, there were hundreds of tiny, tiny praying mantis in a jar. The pod was attached to a twig and there were plenty of the bugs hanging around on that and everywhere else in the jar. I've got to say I found the whole thing a bit too creepy. I'm not anti-bug or anything. I've never been one to scream and run at the sight of a spider, far from it. I've frequently been known to capture spiders and other bugs and then release them back outside instead of squishing or flushing them. My charity towards bugs isn't understood by most, but it makes me happy. But that said, all these little praying mantis was really giving me the heebie-jeebies.

They were passing the jar around, peering at it from all sides and taking pictures while the little fellows climbed up and down the sides of the jar and the twig. Wasn't it time to let them all go? Yes, out into the yard we went and opened the jar between two large hosta. They didn't flee immediately, but just ambled about and most of them stayed in the jar for a good time longer. Once they were out walking around on the wide flat leaves, I felt much more comfortable with them. Now they were just cute little baby bugs. I actually let one walk around my hand. They were so small you couldn't even feel them moving across your skin. There little heads, only the size of pin, would turn when something moved behind them.

We caught a dozen of them back into cup and brought them home for our own flower garden. I hope I see one again once they are all grown up!

The Zombies Present...

2008-05-29T14:40:00.008-04:00

I was working with fifth grade zombies yesterday. They were putting the finishing touches on their big research project on a famous immigrant of their choice. I spent the morning helping kids find facts and pictures of The Great Khalil, Edge and Arnold Schwarzenegger for their posters. After lunch, the ones who were ready gave their presentation. Not one presentation lasted more than a minute, some less than 15 seconds. Some kids read off note cards; some held cards but never looked at them. Most just stood with their back to the class and read off the poster while they pointed to pictures. But it wasn't torture to watch, not like those sixth graders back in December. These kids didn't seem nervous, were definitely not quiet and, surprisingly, they knew their stuff.

But one report really stood out among them all. This kid was doing his presentation on Ichiro Suzuki of the Seattle Mariners. He gave the entire report reading straight from his note cards, talking really fast and repeating the same three facts in different ways. It was pretty hum-drum until he got to his last card.

"Now I will now show you a picture of a baseball field, a baseball and a bat because they have to do with baseball, which I like and it is what Ichiro Suzuki plays." He turned to his poster.

"This is a baseball field." He pointed to a picture of a stadium on his poster. "This is a baseball." He pointed to a ball. "And this is a bat." Another point. "These all have to do with baseball". He turned back to the room.

"Thank you." And then he gave a little bow.

Cedar Point at last

2008-05-25T22:54:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we finally got a day that had good weather and no dance practice for the Girl, so it was off to Cedar Point!

We got there around 1 PM and rode six roller coasters and a couple of little rides before we called it a day. It was just the right amount of CP considering the crowds and that it was getting colder by the minute by the time we decided to take off. We finished the day on the Raptor which is such a kicking cool coaster. We all rode it last year, but the Girl rode the whole thing with her eyes closed. This year she kept them open and now says that it is her favorite coaster in the park.

Next visit, we're hitting the Millennium Force! Have a happy Memorial Day everyone!

Sick Zombies and Extra Tea- A Double Feature

2008-05-21T12:09:00.005-04:00

Another doubled up post! If I could just get in the habit of blogging everyday then I could stick to one subject. But- GAH - writing everyday sounds like torture! And besides last night on TCM they had Vertigo and Rear Window back to back, so my night was completely taken up with Jimmy Stewart love!

So for your approval...

Story #1- Sick of Music

Yesterday I was sitting back in my home school kicking it with some second grade zombies who LOVE me. Big time love me and wave their little arms off whenever they see me in the building with a class that is not them. It's all good, I love them right back. Well, most of them.

The day ended with the Spring Music program. We were to be entertained by the third and fourth graders singing their hearts out while doing silly hand and arm gestures. It was gearing up to be your classic spring program. On a side note, I've seen more winter and spring programs than probably anyone else on Earth. I average probably about four shows a season. I suspect that there are some teachers out there taking this day off on purpose just to miss the show! How shocking! I also average about three field days every year as well. I KNOW teachers dodge that day on purpose! But really I don't mind, it's a full hour that I don't have to teach and the kids sit there completely mesmerized during the whole thing.

This show yesterday was twelve songs long. I sighed as I read through the program and got as comfortable as possible in my fold-up chair. I nice relaxing hour was at hand. But, in the middle of song seven, something went very wrong. The zombies were singing and gesturing when suddenly a third grader, right in the front row, stopped and then threw up. It was just one quick BLAH and it was over. He missed himself completely but did get a couple of pom poms that were sitting on the floor in front of him.

Not an eye missed what happened and room shared a collective gasp. The music stopped and teachers flew in every direction; some towards the sick kid, others out the various doors and everyone shouting for the custodian. When Mr. F. did appear with a mop, bucket, broom, dustpan, roll of paper towels and the bag of orange stuff that cleans up puke, all the kids applauded. The kid had been bundled off by then and by some strange coincidence his mother was in the audience, with a clean shirt!

A few minutes later you never wouldn't have known there was a problem. The music started up again and the show continued. I have to say that the evil part of me was disappointed. When that kid barfed, I instantly foresaw the fabled chain reaction barf happening all over the gym. It could have been an unstoppable tidal wave of barf. It certainly would have been a best spring program ever performed in an elementary school.

The most amazing part of this is how it ended. Right in the middle of song twelve, the sick kid came back in the gym, took his place on the riser and joined in. He had a big silly grin on his face the whole time but the kids on both sides of him were giving him lots of room. Now if that doesn't get you an A in music class, then I don't know what will!

Story #2--Iced Tea Happiness

I won't bore you again with my love of iced tea and my ongoing search for good tea and the banishment of bad tea. Actually this story is about a waitress who if I had a Waitress Hall of Fame would be inducted today.

The Man and I went out to breakfast this morning at a location that has good tea. We both ordered iced tea and what arrived at the table blew me away. It was a regular glass of iced tea with lots of ice in a nice tall glass AND a second glass of tea with no ice. The second glass was for refilling the first, like having our own little pitcher of extra tea right at the table!

Now you are probably saying to yourself, "What they had there was a lazy waitress who wanted to make as few as trips possible to their table. She could probably tell looking at them that they were a couple of tea buffalo and would wear her out with their perpetually empty glasses." And you may be right. Hell, you probably are right on the money. But I don't even care. That extra glass of tea made my whole day! That and not being around zombies today.

Sunburns and a new baby

2008-05-18T19:17:00.005-04:00

Whoa! Now that's a bad title!

Last Thursday the Girl and Boy went to an Indians game with school. They were gone forever! The game ended around 3:30, but they didn't get home until after 5 PM. The hang-up involved the stupidity of bus drivers it seems. The kids must have had a good time anyway because when I asked them if the Indians won, neither of them were sure. I already knew that they did win, but it cracks me up that they were there and didn't pay attention to the game at all!

They had to sit in the bleachers and both of them came home with sunburned faces. Every kid who went did as well. We had a Girl Scout meeting that same night and you could easily spot who went to the game. The Girl has quite a bad sunburn on her nose which started peeling today much to her dismay. She has pretty much hid her face from the world as much as she could today.

Friday night I get an unexpected call from Weaver. She just wanted to calmly as anything drop the news that she had the baby on Thursday. A little early? Yep, just a bit. I'm all down with that preemie baby and NICU scene, so here's big love and happy vibes to #4. Welcome, welcome, welcome!

Why it might be time for a job change

2008-05-13T17:49:00.008-04:00

I looked it up. I've been zombie-sitting since October of 2001. Ugh.

This must end. Truly. There are 16 more school days and I've started to look at them as my farewell tour. Yesterday I had an experience that really brought it all home to me.

I was at Ely, my home school. I was having a perfectly lovely day in third grade kicking it with kids I have known since kindergarten and I'm on first name relationships with almost all of their parents. None of these kids give me any trouble. But, in the class next door things were going bad. They also had a zombie sitter, but she was being given a run for her money. I could hear them through the wall going crazy. They were running in halls. They were disgusting animals at lunch. (Oh, wait a minute. That's everyday.)

Anyway, by the end of the day I had had it with them giving that poor, confused woman a hard time. They were lined up in the hall, outside my room, acting like fools when I decided to say something.

"Look here! You guys have been out of control all day. And somebody on this floor wrote on the walls in the girls restroom again! Why are you even taking pencils in there? This has been going on for weeks."

Much mumbling, staring at the floor and shuffling of feet. Someone whispered, "I didn't do it."

"I didn't ask who didn't do it. But I bet someone here knows who did. Everyone is probably going to be in trouble, again, because a few people can't control themselves. I know for a fact you are all better people than this."

All eyes are down now and the mumbling has stopped. Out shuffles their sitter.

"What is going here!??!?"

I explain about the restroom situation and how disappointed I am with their behavior today.

She blustered, "Is this something I should know about?"

Hmm. Shouldn't she already be aware that these kids have been bananas all day? Maybe she's been sleeping... "I'll make sure the teachers know. I've already spoken to the janitor."

Some of the kids' eyes go super huge at this news. And I've obviously also upset the befuddled sitter as she shuffles off with the class of zombies in tow, most of whom have forgotten I'm still watching and start acting like idiots again behind her back.

About a minute later she's at my door. My zombies are at gym, so I'm all alone.

"Excuse me, but if you have a problem with my class, then please speak to me first. When you speak to my class like that, you undermine my authority."

With that she exited double quick not giving me a chance to respond. That was really disappointing. The comebacks I could have peppered her with came to me one after the other. The missed opportunity of it all almost made me chase her down. But no. Instead I did the mature thing and flipped off the spot where she was standing.

So it's come to this. I've been reduced down to the level of a zombie. I'm going to go now and cover myself in band-aids and find something in my pants to throw away.

Mom's Day

2008-05-11T18:30:00.006-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all my mommy friends, of which I have a lot more this year than I did last. It's that true I run with a mighty fertile pack of women. All but Weaver have had their little bundle of joy. Hang in there, Weaver. You're time is soon!

My big plan for Mother's Day this year was breaking out the brand spanking new season passes and head for Cedar Point. But, the biggest mother of them all, Mother Nature, had other plans in the way of non-stop rain and cold, cold, cold. So we had to break out Plan B, which was to go see Ironman again. This was my idea, don't worry. Yes, I liked this movie enough to want to pay to see it twice. Even more, I liked it better the second time around. And we waited around both times to see the extra scene after the credits because it seriously speaks to the super geek lurking inside the man and myself.

There's also the matter of Robert Downey Jr. He so does it for me in this movie. Big time. The Pioneer Woman has a particularly cute way of expressing how he makes me feel. I'll spare my male readers the phrase, but I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about.

Oh my, oh my, oh my!

Spring colors, part two

2008-05-06T20:15:00.006-04:00

I know what you're thinking. If only we could see a picture of J's house everyday on this blog, then my life would be complete!

Well, I can't take a new picture everyday, but here's another post about my yard just for you!

The little shrub by the front porch suddenly bloomed brilliant pink over the weekend. The rest of the year it is completely unremarkable, but for a few short weeks it looks like this.

The little shrub bloomed before the dogwood's drooped, just like I hoped, but rarely get to see. Here's the whole scene with a little bit of neighbor's lilac sneaking in front.

Unfortunately, we had to mow the yard so the violets are gone. The purple lawn would really compliment the rest of it right now.

But I'm sorry, that's it for yard pictures for awhile. You'll just have go on without for awhile or at least until my roses come in.

Two quick zombie stories with a side of mayo

2008-05-04T18:59:00.003-04:00

Last week was a new record for me. I worked five days and all five of them were in the first grade. Not the same class either, five different first grade rooms. First grade zombies have a special type of neediness that really gets under my skin. They think they are big enough to mouth off, but on the other hand lose everything that they put in a pocket and cannot, under any circumstance, sharpen a pencil. I have two unique little stories to share from this week.

I was sitting on the rug with a group of first grade zombies discussing the invention of clothes. It was a social studies paper we were all reading together. The zombies were following along and they were mostly fairly good readers. I stopped along the way to ask, "What do you call someone with no clothes?" A little fellow raised a hand.

"Naked!" Lots of giggles all around, but I congratulated him on the right answer. Another hand was raised, this time a little zombie girl.

"Do you know another word for it?" I asked. I was waiting for her to say nude or something like that.

She smiled broadly. "Yeah," she said. "Hillbillies!"

I think my jaw might have actually hit the floor.

The next day, another teacher was taking my class to the library in small groups while I kept the rest back. Seems that 25 first graders in a library at once is too much in that particular school. The other teacher, who was also a sub, took the first group, but then came back earlier than I expected without any kids at all. I knew she was a little confused on the procedures, but this seemed extreme. She motioned me over with that I have a grown-up thing to tell you look on her face.

"One of your boys", she began very quietly, "won't be coming back. He's in the office."

"What did he do?" I quickly tried to remember who she had taken and which boy she could be referring to. The other teacher looked very hesitant to tell me.

"Well, the librarian saw him...", she paused, very uncomfortable.

What could he have done? My mind raced! Destroy a book? Stand on a table? Attack the librarian? Pick his nose? Finally she spoke, spitting it out as quickly as she could.

"The librarian saw him put his hands down his pants, pull out some poop. then drop it in a garbage can!"

Again, jaw on the floor. I had to be sure of this. "He did what?"

"OH! I can't repeat it!", and she hustled back out the door.

No one with that weak of a constitution should be working in an elementary school situation.

Now for the mayo.

A few weeks ago, Fearless Co-Leader gave me a lovely little plant for Leader Appreciation Week. (Just so you know, I didn't get her anything, not even a card. I completely forgot about this little occasion.) I brought this plant home, put it on the side table with nothing under it and left it. On Wednesday I noticed it was looking a little droopy so I picked it up for a watering when I noticed a big white circle on the wood where the plant was sitting. A water mark, big as life, and I had no one to blame but myself.

But wait. Didn't I just read a strange article about using mayonnaise to save wooden furniture from just this very ailment? I did! Quickly I found the article again and it was pretty straightforward. Rub mayo into the spot and leave it there for six to eight hours then wipe it off. I figure it was worth a shot. It would either work or the cats would have a big time licking the table all day.

The end of the story is that it did work, too well in fact. The rest of the table looks just a little less shiny and new than the mayo spot, so I'm planning on giving the whole surface a mayo face lift someday soon. I'll have a prettiest, tastiest table in town!

Our Spring Colors

2008-04-28T20:17:00.005-04:00

The Girl went to student council state conference and is now back again, safe and sound. She had a wonderful time. That little white sweater that we had to have lasted about 10 minutes into the dance before she got too hot and had to take it off. As for the shoes, she ended up taking a pair a mine; A nice benefit to having the same size feet right now. The shoes lasted only a little longer than the sweater before getting kicked to the side. I'm glad now we didn't go out anymore than we did to look for shoes! The purse we finally found was perfect. Now that she's home, I might take it for myself!

Spring has more than sprung around here. All the trees are in full leaf already. The baby trees are sprouting baby leaves which pleases us all to no end. A sure sign of spring is when I put my hammock up, which I did over the weekend. The Man cleaned out the gutters and The Boy had a big fire going in the fireplace. It was a very productive yard-sy weekend and probably the most we'll do outside for the rest of the season!

Spring is when our front yard is the prettiest. Here are some shots for you.

Here's the white dogwood. The rest of the year it's pretty plain, but right now it is awfully lovely. If you think my grass looks purple, it is. We actually don't have grass anymore. It's all violets. I'm not sure what our neighbors think about it, but we love how it looks this time of year. You can see it all the way down the street, the house with the purple lawn.

The Chem Lawn guy should be coming soon. Every year he looks at our lawn like it's a carpet of gold. I'm all ready for him this year...

Evil Chemical Grass Man: Good afternoon!

Me: (scowl)

Satan with Spray Gun: It looks like you've got a bit of violet problem here.

Me: I'd say that's a matter of opinion.

Earth Hating Grass Painter: How's that?

Me: I think everyone else has a grass problem.

It's not that I like weeds. Dandelions are enemy number one around here. The Man says that since I am so tyrannical on the dandelions, I've just opened the door to the violets. Maybe so, but violets are pretty!

Here's the pink dogwood. It's grown a lot since we've lived here. That "bush" in front of it used to twice as tall and was crowding it out. I have no love for that bush, which I refer to as the Pampered Weed. But our neighbors have a picture of their house when it was first built. Our house isn't there, but the Pampered Weed is. That makes The Weed over 100 years old. So I guess it can stay.

Around the Weed are tulips that planted the first fall we lived here. Last year they didn't bloom and I kept meaning to dig up the bulbs, but I didn't get to it. I guess I didn't need to anyway because this year they bloomed just fine. Some of them actually came up orange, which was new but a definite improvement over the ketchup and mustard ones.

There's also a little shrub by the front porch that turns bright, bright red right around the time the dogwoods lose their blossoms. A little better timing on everyones part would really be nice!

Girl Shopping

2008-04-18T20:15:00.004-04:00

The Girl is going to the Student Council State Conference next week. She is leaving Thursday afternoon and will be home Saturday night. Thankfully, they have chartered a bus because the town where the conference is being held is about three hours away. I heard that in past years parents had to haul the kids all the way there and then pick them up again. Yuck!

Friday night at the conference is a fancy dinner followed by a dance. So we had to go shopping. Dress shopping. She's at this great in-between size right now: Too big for little girl clothes, too little for grown-up lady clothes. But we found a dress that was just right, a little blue sundress that is neither not too young nor too hoochy mama. But, she really didn't feel comfortable having her shoulders exposed. What she wanted was a little white, short sleeved, half sweater to wear over it.

This mythical sweater will be crazy easy to find and it will jump out at us or it will be the most impossible piece of clothing to find ever, the Grail of sweaters. This was my thought as we headed out. But the fates must have had pity on me because the first saleswoman in the first store knew exactly what we wanted and took us to the only one in her size. And it was on clearance.

"I don't like these buttons much." The Girl frowned down at the perfectly lovely buttons on the perfectly perfect sweater.

"We have lots of buttons. I'll sew new ones on that you do like!" This might have come out a bit crazed. She was now scowling at me.

"Do you think it's too baggy?" She plucked at the sides, pulling them away from her. Right now the Girl wears exclusively skin tight t-shirts. Anything with any kind of movement is deemed baggy by her.

"Nope, nope, nope. That's how it's supposed to look. It's dressy. Very pretty." I felt myself smiling like loon.

A big sigh. "You can change the buttons?"

"Oh yeah! No problem! Let's go check out now, okay?"

She agreed and the sweater looks perfect with the dress. She was right. She even thinks, as of this moment anyway, that the buttons aren't that bad after all.

Tonight we went shoe shopping. I'll make this short. We had no success. Big flop. On the way home she hits me that she thinks she need to take a bag of some type to keep all her things in during the conference.

"Do you mean a purse?" I asked finally, stopping her explanation.

"No, it doesn't exactly have to be a purse. More like a small tote."

Sure. So Sunday we are going purse shopping as well as shoe shopping part two.

She's also involved in the musical at school. They are doing "Once on this Island". I've never heard of this show, but from what I can gather from the kids it has really good music but a depressing story. Strange review, but they are enjoying it and the rehearsals are right after school so they don't get in the way with anything else.

Being a small junior high show, the kids have to provide there own costumes. More shopping, this time for peasant clothes: Muted colors with a tropical look, but not Hawaiian looking. Okay. We hit the Goodwill and after an exhaustive search we finally found a long skirt with a patched look in shades of brown and a little white peasant blouse. Perfect!

We had to find a shirt for the Boy too, who is also in the show. It went like this:

"Hey, here's a shirt. What do you think?"

"Okay."

"Do you want to try it on, make sure it fits?"

He holds it up to himself. "Nah. It's okay."

And that was it.