The awards ceremony was this morning and the kids got a ton of stuff. The girl got recognized for being in the spelling bee, being on safety patrol, National Physical Fitness Award and being on the honor roll every quarter since 3rd grade. That's 16 quarters people and only eight 6th graders did it.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Last Day of Sixth Grade
The awards ceremony was this morning and the kids got a ton of stuff. The girl got recognized for being in the spelling bee, being on safety patrol, National Physical Fitness Award and being on the honor roll every quarter since 3rd grade. That's 16 quarters people and only eight 6th graders did it.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Dance Recital '07
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I Shall Parade No More Forever
Me, cutting to the chase: Look, I'll tell you right now, I don't do parades. I'll do pretty much anything else you need but not parades. I won't walk in a parade or ride in a float. I barely enjoy watching parades.
C0-leader, in blatant disbelief: But we walked in it last year....
Me, hard-core in my convictions: I wasn't here last year. If you want to take the girls, feel free. I won't be there.
I thought that was the end. I thought I made my position clear. And she didn't bring it up again, not until just before the parade.
Co, peppy to the last: I've got the permission slips for the parade. We're meeting in the parking lot at 9:30.
Me, ice princess : Have fun. I won't be there.
Co, slightly shocked: No?
Me, James Bond type cool: No. Won't. Be. There.
Co, laughing off what must be a bad joke: Sure you will.
Me, not joking: No way.
So the day of the parade comes and here's me in my little chair watching the city's finest march by melting in the heat and looking miserable. Lo and behold, here comes my troop of girls and leaders. I wave and smile as they pass by. Did they wave and smile back? No, not quite. Nobody likes to be stood up, but I think that when you say you're not going to be somewhere and then NOT show, all you are doing is keeping your word. But no, I was a betrayer, a spoil sport, loser.
However, I made my point. The word "parade" has never come up in a troop meeting again. There have been other organizations that I've belonged to over the years that have also put together a float or marched en masse behind some handmade sign. I'd have none of it. The reaction is always bad. Nobody likes a parade hater.
Well, I don't care! I don't like parades! I had to be in every stinking parade my entire childhood. Even out-of-town parades. It was the pits. We always got stuck behind some truck with fumes in our faces or behind horses leaving land mines or some lousy band playing the same damn song over and over and over again. I swore that once I was an adult and in control of my own destiny, I would never be in a parade again. So far, this has been a promise that I've been able to keep.
As a consequence of my loathing of parades, my kids have yet to be in one. This has caused several uncomfortable moments for them as well. Most recently yesterday as we were once again installed in our traditional parade watching spot, the boy's Boy Scout troop paraded by. As a group they glared at him and then me. We waved them on. They are certain to say something (and probably not in a nice way) at the next meeting. But again, we told them that we weren't coming. They shouldn't have been surprised.
I mentioned that I find even watching parades an iffy form of entertainment. I do like the marching bands and when the APL comes by with the dogs. My least favorite part is the endless line of tow trucks. Why do the tow trucks have to be in the parade? And why are there so many of them??? Isn't anyone broke down on Memorial Day morning? Maybe if our little hometown parade had floats like this, I would enjoy it more. Well, no, probably not.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Fields Trips Cold, Field Trips Hot
First, the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It was a cold, drizzly day in Canton. We arrived fashionably late after an almost 2 hour bus ride. The parking lot was chuck full of buses and kids from schools all over the state. There wasn't one happy face in the crowd.
First stop, athletic drill on the football field. Did I mention it was cold and drizzly. Oh yeah. Big fun. These huge smiles are only because this crew is a big ham for a camera.
Next stop, time for exploring the museum. This group was my responsibility. I guess you could say that we walked the whole place twice over without stopping much. I guess you could say that football's not our thing. I guess you could say we were bored out of our minds.
Here we found the boy in the gift shop. I picked up a really cute Christmas ornament of Santa at the Hall of Fame. How could I not buy it?
After that, we ate lunch ON THE BUS and then drove home. It was the worst field trip of all time. There's nothing more to say.
This week the field trip was Swings 'n Things. And just stop right there Brewer -- Everyone already knows your opinion of that place! This was a great field trip. The first half was fun disguised as educational lessons. The second part of the day was just running around with the place to ourselves. Sunny, warm and unlimited rides on everything. This trip more than made up for the one to you know where.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Spring Fling!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
While you wait
Friday, April 27, 2007
My Book Review
I think you should read "Talk to the Hand" by Lynn Truss. Lynn Truss's voice in this book is crystal clear, very British and hysterical. This is a book for grown-ups, because while it doesn't get terribly profane, it does have the "Eff" word, a lot. The book discusses what is rude, who is rude, why they are rude and how you yourself could be a little more polite. Unfortunately, she points out some things that I never considered rude before, but now that you mention it... well, let's just say I'm looking at my phone in a whole new light. My favorite part of the book is the her step-by-step emotional roller coaster you go through when someone doesn't say "Thank You" when you hold a door open for them. Very enlightening. "Talk to the Hand" is not a long book and can easily be read in a few days, even all in one day if you really get into and have the time free. You should read "Talk to the Hand". You'll love it! (Insert big cheesy smile)
Okay, maybe I won't make it through an audition for the show. I'm probably too tall anyway. But I do mean every word of it. I'm most of the way through another book of hers, "Eats Shoots and Leaves", which I'm big time enjoying. Maybe if you're lucky, another enlightening and persuasive review will be coming your way!

Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Phantom Returns
Working everyday piled on top of camping the whole weekend really has turned this place upside-down. There is actually NO FOOD in the refrigerator. It's all condiments. Sunday is my shopping day and this week I was kicking it out at Singing River with the chicks, so no shopping got done. I've just been throwing stuff together all week trying to keep us all from starving to death. But camping was a glorious weekend if you only look at food, weather, campfires and hiking. And let's JUST look at that shall we? No need to dwell in any dark places.
While at camp I make a God's Eye that was (No kidding) about three foot in diameter. I took a picture of it with my phone, so if you want to see it, you'll have to catch me with the phone because I have zero idea how to get it out of there. I suppose that kind of information is probably in the little book; I even know where it is. Okay, maybe I'll do that. But not anytime soon.
The boy goes camping this weekend with his troop. Their weather won't be as beatific as ours last weekend, but it seems to be their lot in life to camp in rain, snow and mud. Must be a Boy Scout thing.
Our Mama Cat has turned into a walking, furry sausage. Not a pleasant image I know. Eating just calorie rich Kitten Chow has turned our sleek, half-starved stray into a lady of plump loveliness. On the advice of Nance though, we are putting her on grown-up cat food and try to get her back into just sleek and athletic looking. I'll post some "now and then" pix soon so you can see how she's changed in the past year!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
What a way to make a living

Tuesday, April 17, 2007
As the Phone Rings...

Sweet Little Me: Hello?
Guy With Wrong Number: Hey ya! Joe Shmoe gave me your name about brick laying.
Tiny Girly Voice Me: My number?
Guy Suddenly Sounding Unsure: Uh, yeah... maybe I have the wrong number...
Me, with the upper hand: Maybe you do. What number are you trying to reach?
Frantic shuffling sounds of Man going through everything around him: Ah.... Hmmm... Oh! Here's it is. (rattles off my phone number)
Me taking change of the situation: Yep, that's me. But look, you want the 216 area code for that number.
Man totally flustered by this turn of events: Really? Oh, thanks so much. Sorry about this! Thanks for your help. Sorry about the call. Okay. Bye. Thanks again. Good-bye!
Now I think this guy was completely adorable by how upset he got over having a wrong number. Is this how he stumbles through life, done in by life's every tiny misstep? Does he painfully count out how many items he has before he attempts the Express Line for fear of a cashier reprimanding him? Is he the guy who takes an agonisingly long time to make a left turn, because he would never dream of cutting someone off, only to charge recklessly into traffic because someone behind him finally honked? What are his nightmare like? Accidentally walking into the ladies room? Poor fella!
And then yesterday...
With a song in my heart Me: Hello?
Man (And was that the sound of a hand slapping a forehead?): This is the number I called before!!!
Me, so happy that Mr. Anxiety has called back: Yes it is! You want 216, remember?
Mr. Anxiety, really winding it up: There's no area code on this business card!
With a tsk-tsk tone to my voice: Well, there should be.
Poor, poor Man, almost to a yell, but not quite: There SHOULD be!
I'm considering calling Larry. I know his number after all. He should be more considerate to his customers. People can be fragile!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Getting Zoo-y
Also, there's that huge bridge that spans over the bear part of the zoo. Spooky, scary bridge but interesting nevertheless and a good landmark for where you are. Right now there's big chunks missing from it and this old guy told us they are going to blow up the rest of it later this month. The zoo without the giant bridge? What is going on?
Oh yeah, there were animals there. Lots of animals. Being cold they were out doing all kinds of fun, moving around things. The highlights were the big noise that the hippo made, seeing a baby orangutan whose birthday it was and learning that giraffes walk right-right-left-left and not right-left-right-left like most every other four legged creature in the world. There, you learned something today! Bummers were that the baby koala wasn't out, the butterfly exhibit is over and while it didn't rain in the rain forest house, it did drizzle on us most of the time we were out there.
Right now the kids have rearranged most of the furniture in the living room and draped the whole thing in sheets and blankets. But they're happy, so what do I care.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Crazy Mouse = Crazy Pictures
The big draw for us is this one roller coaster they have called the Crazy Mouse. It is the coolest little roller coaster ever. We're big Cedar Point people, but CP doesn't have anything even close to the Crazy Mouse. It has round cars that sits four people. As you go up and down and back and forth on this super smooth track, the car itself spins around. There's sharp curves that, even though you know it's coming, makes you feel like you're going to go flying off the track into the middle of the park. It's terrifying and hysterical. I laugh like a damn fool the entire time, every time. It's actually a little embarrassing. Whenever I'm playing Roller Coaster Tycoon, I always build a version of the Crazy Mouse first. I want my guests to have the best!
The Crazy Mouse has a camera that snaps your picture as you're going down the first hill. That's always good for a big laugh to see the awful expressions on everyones faces! Last year we rode it so many times, we knew exactly when the camera would snap, so we came up with a plan. We were all going to look off to the right and salute as the camera took the shot. It would be an excellent picture. And it was, but not for the reason it was suppose to. In the picture we're all looking to the right, hands to our brows, big smiles in place, except for the boy who has forgot the plan. While the three of us are cheesing it up, he has a death grip on the handle and a look of absolute terror on his face! His hair is going straight back and his eyes are huge. It is the single funniest picture ever taken. Much to his dismay we bought it, but after we realized how upset he really was, I tucked it away so he would never have to see it. (I would post it here, but he would be mortified. If you really want to see it, next time you're over, I'll let you sneak a peek.) I take it out whenever I'm in a cloudy mood and it instantly makes me laugh. It's a great shot.
This year we promised to take the revenge picture. This time as we passed the camera, the three of us would look super scared and he could wave and smile. And it worked, kind of. The boy was smiling, but it was a bit of a scared smile. The man and the girl both looked scared, but it was a tad of a laughing scared. But the true look of terror goes to me: I look like the cave troll from Lord of the Rings is waiting at the bottom of the hill. I was horrified at how horrified I looked. Honestly, I guess I didn't hold back at all. I would post the picture here, but we didn't buy it. The boy decided against it. I guess just making us do that was enough for him. What a relief!
Monday, April 02, 2007
My April Fools
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Nothing About Cats
A few of you out there know my weakness for champagne and let's just say that they weren't stingy with making sure your glass was full. By 1 PM we were back home and I took a little nap.
The man: It's called passing out.
******
Friday night, the munchkins and I went to see "South Pacific" performed by the Elyria Catholic drama department. I don't want to talk about it much except for these points--
- South Pacific has way too much talking and way too many slow songs to ever attempted by high school students. There should probably be a law in place against it.
- The "auditorium" at EC is the ugliest room on Earth. And I am just saying that because I'm a EHS snob.
- Sitting on hard, benches for a long, dull musical is very hard on your back, even when you resort to sitting between the benches and have your legs up on the bench in front of you, thus making you look and feel ridiculous.
- The live band was very nice.
******
The kids and I just finished "The Last Battle" which is the last book in the Narnia series. If you've never read all of them (or any of them), I very highly recommend them. I know some people shy away from books in a series, too much of a commitment, but that's what makes these books great. You don't have to have a stellar memory to enjoy them. Each book is a story entirely on it's own, completely understandable without having knowledge or history from the stories previous to it. "The Last Battle" should be read last, but other than that, it's a free for all. I would really like to go into "The Last Battle" and discuss my theories about Susan with someone. I've read lots of online articles about her, but I would really like to have a discussion with someone else who has read them. If you've read them (or if you could please hurry up and read them), I would appreciate hearing from you! If I don't hear from somebody, I'll just have to spit out all my ideas on this blog and ruin it for everyone else. That's not a warning, it's a threat.![]()
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Cat Wrap-up
Yes, they are our cats now. We did all the right things to get rid of them. Ads in the paper, ads on Petfinder.com, calls into shelters to be put on waiting lists, their own website: I really, really tried. And then something awful happened. It worked.
Someone called who wanted Jack. They saw his exceedingly cute pic online and then wanted to come meet him. I froze. I panicked. Jack? My little Jack-Jack? Some weirdo calls my house and wants my little sweet kitten boy? The decision was quick.
"He's already been taken." I wasn't a lie.
After that more calls came. Somebody else wanted Jack, two people wanted Meg, the APL called and had space finally. Nope, nope, nope. Couldn't do it.
So here we are with a house full of cats. The kittens are seven months old this week. And how is Marco fairing through all of this? The kittens figured him out pretty fast-- If you don't run, he won't chase. And he doesn't. He comes over and gives them a big sniff and a sloppy, wet kiss on the head now and then. (His tongue is as big as their faces!) They bat at him when he walks by, but he doesn't notice. Jack is very fond of sitting on a kitchen chair and striking out at the dog. Marco just keeps on going, never missing a beat. There's one big bowl of water in the kitchen and often you'll finding a kitten or two taking a drink beside Marco. Unbelievably cute. They don't snuggle together; not yet, but I can see the day coming when big group naps in the sun will be the norm.
Mama is another story. First, something happened to her last week which has completely changed her personality. The only way I can describe it is that they didn't just remove her female parts, they also removed her bitch gland. She is a new cat. (And yes, we discussed the possibility of a cat mix-up at wild and crazy Spay/Neuter factory).
Last summer, she was the sweetest little cat ever. She made us love her by being so friendly and cuddly. But she hated Marco and Marco hated her. Then, she had the kittens and we brought her in. Immediately she changed into this sulky hateful thing that was completely miserable. "It's just the kittens." We told ourselves. "She's being protective. She's tired." Once the kittens were on their own and so was she, we thought she would come back to us. But she stayed grumpy and snarly to everyone. She would glare at you with eyes that said, "If I was bigger, I would rip your throat out!" If you reached out to pet her, she would shy away like your hands were made of acid. She hid most of the day, only coming out when nature called or to kick the kittens around, chase off Marco or be ugly to us. Fun pet, eh?
But now, after the surgery, she's back to acting like that cat I found in the basement. She chirps and meows all day long; matter of fact, she never shuts up. She comes downstairs and sits with us. She cuddles with kittens and sleeps all wrapped up with them. It's an amazing change.
But she is the same cat, because she still treats Marco the same. The only difference now is that she has to deal with him much more often, now that she's not hiding. She's on the couch, in the kitchen, around the corner hissing, spitting and striking out whenever he lumbers by. But don't feel too bad for him. He KNOWS that she's going to do it and just keeps coming at her, sticking his big mug in her little face over and over again. He'll learn. Eventually. He has to, right?
So that's the story of how a tried and true dog family, became a dog/cats family. We were hoodwinked, sucker-punched and bamboozled. But as this little cat cuddles in my lap right now, I guess it hasn't been that bad.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
What do you do on a day off?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Books, books, books
Look at the list of books below.
Bold the ones you’ve read.
Italicize the ones you want to read.
Don't do anything to the ones that you aren’t interested in.
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)--almost done!
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMavrier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce
Friday, March 09, 2007
Luxury?
I have been recently been asked what luxury items I would like for myself if price were no object. At first, I couldn't think of a thing. Not a thing. I can come up with list upon list of things I would like for the man, for the kids and especially this house. (The list for the house would probably bring you to tears.) But I have a had a much too difficult time thinking up things just for me. Finally, I have this list:
Socks. The majority of my socks are the most pathetic things you have ever seen. But whenever I go to buy socks, the price of them throws me back. Why are socks so expensive? It's not a lot of material and it seems to be in a fairly basic shape. It's a mystery. And I'm not looking for fancy schmancy socks. Basic colors and white would be just fine.
Shoes. I would love all new shoes. Shoes for work, shoes for walking, shoes for looking sharp. The catch is that they would have to fit me and my monstrously high arches. Most every shoe I've ever owned I've just had to settle with almost fitting my arch.
A Cut and a Color. (Did you think pants would be next?) I am way past due for afternoon with foil in the hair. Things are getting ugly!
New Eyes. This is the ultimate luxury item that I would want right now. Laser surgery to fix my eyes. That would be grand. I do have contacts, but most of the time I'm too lazy to put them in. To wake up in the morning and being able to see, to swim... I can't imagine what it would be like, but I know that I want it!
So there it is. Looks like about $4000 to me. What does your list look like?
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Down to the last crumb
There's 30 boxes of cookies left out in the van, but they shouldn't be a problem to unload. (You need any cookies?) Now I can get the van seats out of the house and back where they belong. Now I can find the surface of my desk. Now my phone will stop ringing all the damn time. Now I can talk about something else!
Friday, March 02, 2007
SPOON(S)!
So thank you, thank you, Brave Brewer. I loved seeing you and Weaver again. Enjoy the cookies and the next time you stop by, bring the Numbers along. We'll feed them to Marco.