This show plays daily in most 1st and 2nd grade classrooms. It's a long show, usually five to six hours long, so wear something comfortable and make sure you have plenty of Tylenol on hand. As you move up through the grades, the length of the show decreases, but every now and then you''ll hear one of its catchy reprises or haunting melodies.
The marvel of this show is the variety of the musical styling. Some days it's sung to zany circus music; another day it might be an operatic lament. Will it be a big brass band complete with a cannon in tow or a retro interpretation of a dull needle on a skippy, scratchy LP recording of "Songs to Annoy". Whatever the tune, the libretto is always the same. Here's a small sampling. Feel free to tap you toe along to any tune that strikes your fancy.
My pencil needs sharpening! My pencil lead broke! Can I sharpen my pencil? Will you sharpen it for me? Our pencil sharpener doesn't work right. I hurt my hand sharpening my pencil. HE'S EMPTYING IT AGAIN!
Can I use the electric sharpener? ONLY THE TEACHER CAN USE THE ELECTRIC SHARPENER! Nuh-un! Yes-huh! The electric sharpener is too hot! It's overhot! It's our third one this year! She's putting colored pencils in the sharpener! I have a fuzzy pencil! I have a shiny pencil! I have a glitter pencil! She broke the sharpener! HE'S EMPTYING IT AGAIN!
I lost my pencil. Can't find my pencil! I just had it and now it's gone. He took my pencil. No, this is mine! No it's not! It's mine 'cause I found it on the floor! That's my pencil!
I broke my pencil. She broke my pencil. My pencil won't sharpen. This pencil doesn't have an eraser anymore! This eraser only makes black marks. Can I glue my eraser back on? Look at my cool eraser. Hey, that's my eraser! Nuh-uh! Yes-huh! I found it on the floor yesterday!
Our teacher lets us have mechanical pencils. My lead keeps breaking. I'm out of lead. [Sound of tiny bits of lead hitting the floor.] Opps! Can I borrow some lead? There's some in the teachers desk...in that drawer right there...she lets us borrow. I took my pencil apart and there was this tiny spring that was really fun and I was squeezing it and it went boing boing boing and then it flew over there and now I can't find it and now I don't have a pencil. HE'S USING A PEN!
I need a pencil. My pencil is too short to use. He has like fifty hundred pencils in his box and he won't let me have one. Fine, I'll just use a crayon and it will be ugly and I'll get a bad grade!
I broke my pencil in half and now I have two!
I wish I could offer you the entire show, but some things must be experienced in person to be truly appreciated. So, this is your director saying farewell and "Stop pointing that at me"!