Thursday, October 27, 2011

The following interview never happened.  The events described did.

J:  Are you comfortable?  Need anything?

Man:  No, no.  I'm fine. (sounds of shuffling and scraping)

J: Something wrong with your chair?

Man:  It's just... (scraping, banging)... stuck here on this rug edge.  (Violent noise)  Ah, there.  Okay.  What did you want to know?

J:  I haven't asked you anything yet.

Man:  So what are we doing then now?

J:  It's an interview.  I want to know about the accident.

Man:  Accident is a bit of an exaggeration.  More like an incident.  A big incident, yeah, but not an accident.

J: Okay, then let's get started.  About how long have you known that the tires on your truck needed replacing?

Man:  Oh, you want to start there?  Well... I guess about a year now.  Yeah, a good year.

J:  That's a long time.

Man:  Yeah, well that's how it goes. I just didn't get around to it.

J:  So tell me what happened on October 22nd.

Man:  Umm.... well I was on my way to band practice...

J:  Your band The Black Valentines has a gig this Saturday right?

Man:  Yep.  A Halloween party.  Thanks for the plug.

J:  No problem.

Man:  So anyway, I was going down 480 just getting into North Olmsted when the back tire exploded.

J:  You just used the word exploded.  Did you hear it?

Man:  Oh yeah.

J:  And you obviously felt it?

Man:  Of course.  Have you ever been in a car when a tire blows out?

J:  No.

Man:  Believe me.  You know when it happens.

J:  So what did you do then?

Man:  I got to the side of the road and stopped.  I checked out the tire.  I was completely destroyed.

J:  I think we have a picture...

Man:  Yeah, as you can see, it's completely blown out.

J:  I see.  Intense images.  So then you attempted to get the spare.

Man:  The spare on my truck is locked into the frame.  You need a special key to get it out. At first I couldn't find the key. It was buried in the glove box.   It's a stupid system.  Who would want to steal your donut?

J:  I think we have a picture of your spare...
 Man:  It's a looker, isn't it?

J:  So you successfully got the spare on the truck.  And then I guess you started back out for band practice?

Man:  The gig was in a week.  Can't miss practice with the gig so close.

J:  But this story has a happy ending, right?

Man:  The truck has four brand new tires now.  I guess that's a happy ending.  Better than having another blow out anyway.

J:  Thank you for sharing your story today.

Man:  What's for dinner?

1 comment:

Weaver said...

bwahahahahaha!!!! (although, I am very glad that no one got hurt!!!)