Thursday, October 04, 2007

Lessons with Zombies

Today was my first day back to work! I've officially been on "green" to go back to work since last Monday, but I just haven't gotten any calls. In desperation, I emailed my boss last night and begged for work. And it worked. Not that I really love my job, barely even like it, but staying home alone with just my thoughts and these animals is starting to damage me mentally.

This year I will be referring to my students as zombies. When when I say zombies, I don't mean these kind of zombies....

No, no, not the shuffling moaning type. I mean more like the "28 Days Later" type of zombie. These guys...
Zombies who are super crazy, run inhumanly fast and never, ever tire out. The extra scary type of zombie.

The parallels between fast scary zombies and schoolchildren and pretty amazing:

  • They both can run really fast. And the kids can run their mouths even faster.
  • They both often have something unidentifiable and disgusting on their faces and hands.
  • Neither children nor zombies are very picky about what they eat or where it was just before they ate it.
  • You can't ignore a zombie when it's in the room. Same with kids.
  • Neither group knows how to speak a distinct language; it's mostly mumblings, whining and drool.
  • They are both predictable only in the fact that you never know what they are going to do next, but it's a guarantee that you're not going to like it.
  • They never quit or tire out.

I think I've made my point. My zombies today were of a very little version, kindergarten sized. Still they were full-fledged zombies. I only had the half a day which was a quarter of a day too long!


Nance said...

Sigh. I have the other kind. Believe me, it's just as bad. They sit there, mouths open, saying nothing, caring about nothing, registering nothing.

It's like mental dentistry this year. I want to throw something at them just to see if they're real.

Neil said...

You need to write more about these scary zombies on Halloween.

Weaver said...

oh no, an afternoon with the zombies and you had to listen to me rant before you went in. I'm so sorry! (in my defense, I just knew I couldn't do the craziness of the story any justice if I tried typing it)