Thursday, January 28, 2010

Alone in a Crowd

The writer finds a cat sitting on the keyboard.

Mi mi mi!

Hey Meg! How about you find someplace else to sit? Since I'm home alone today I'm going to try to write about that. Being alone.

Mioooow! Miow! Miow-miow-miow-miow!

You've got a whole house to sit around in. Now move it.

Me ma mi me ma!

No that's my tea. Here, you have fun in the paper recycling box.


Okay, leave then.

The writer realizes that if she doesn't get some laundry started, her family will be drying themselves with washcloths after their showers, again.

Hey Jack Jack! How's it going?

(Jack jumps up on the food table and knocks a dish to the floor.)

No, it's not time to eat.

(Jack jumps over to a litter box, stares at it then pointedly, then stares at the writer. This repeats several times.)

Yeah, those boxes do need done, but it's not my day. You're just going to have to suck it up.

(Jack runs over to the pile of dirty laundry and starts to paw around in it.)

No, I don't need you help with this. No, Jack. Let go. Let go! I said Let Go!

(Jack returns to the food table and knocks another dish to the floor.)

With both machines now industriously whooshing away, the writer becomes aware of incessant barking and baying happening out in the yard.


Arrroooo! Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof!


WOOF! Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof!

Marco! It's just a squirrel. Come here! Marco come! MARCO!


Marco you stupid... Yes! Good boy. Good boy! Come here. Good... OH! Why do you always have to step on my foot?

Pant pant pant pant pant

No, you're not getting a cookie. Too much barking.


And you made me yell out of the door like a crazy person. No cookie.


You think being pathetic is going make me change my mind?

The sound of the mailman on the porch distracts the writer from further berating her dog. Marco grabs the cookies from her fingers and runs away to play with it.


Hey Mama. Do you want to sit with me and go through the mail?


Don't chew on that.


I can't see with you in my face like this.


I AM paying attention to you. You're all over me!


No, it's not time for bed.


No, I don't want you to fix me right now. No. Oww! Okay that's enough. I've got stuff I wanted to get done today.


The writer heads back to the computer. After depositing ninety percent of the mail in paper recycling box, the writer finds a cat sitting on the keyboard.


Hey Meg.


You know Meg, I'm just lacking inspiration right now. I think I'll go clean the fish tank.


Nance said...

There's never alone time with pets. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

J. said...

I think it's good---most of the time.