Thursday, February 18, 2010

My job description

I've had a miserably long day but I have to share this little story with the three of you.

After an uncomfortably loud recess, I finally got the class of zombies to sit down and get quiet. The weirdest zombie in the pile raised his hand.

What's up?

Thank you for taking us to lunch.


Thank you for taking us to lunch.

That's what I thought you said. I have to take you. It's my job.

Oh, that's right. I forgot. Isn't your job to keep everyone happy?

No, that's not my job. Not at all.


No. My job is to make sure all of you get out of here with both your eyes and no broken bones.


You heard me.

PS: Two hours later, this weird zombie was holding his chair over his head and about to launch it at a classmate who was teasing him. I stopped him just in time. He almost made me fail at my job for the day.


Brewer said...


Your story omits the use of taser on the charming lad. When did you start teaching in Brooklyn? I'm scared for you, really.

J. said...

I get afraid for me too. I have to go back to the same room again today and it promises to be worse. The two scariest zombies in the room should be back from suspension today! (Did I mention this is third grade?)

The teacher in this room had emergency surgery and won't be back for two weeks. They haven't asked yet, but if they do ask me to take the post it's going to take all of my professionalism not to say, "No f'ing way!"

Nance said...

"Getting everyone out of there with 2 eyes and no broken bones" = "keeping everyone happy".
Pretty much.

J. said...

Nance: I'm with you. If it was anything less, that would be the definition of unhappiness.

Anonymous said...

Damn I was going to buy a new Hummer in late 2012 and drive around the country for a vacation, Now I am going to have to shave my head and join the Hari.s, Muslims, Jews, Jehovah s, Mormons, Christians, and a few other wing nut groups just to cover all my bases.
]Apocalypse 2012
[/url] - some truth about 2012