Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sick Zombies and Extra Tea- A Double Feature

Another doubled up post! If I could just get in the habit of blogging everyday then I could stick to one subject. But- GAH - writing everyday sounds like torture! And besides last night on TCM they had Vertigo and Rear Window back to back, so my night was completely taken up with Jimmy Stewart love!

So for your approval...

Story #1- Sick of Music

Yesterday I was sitting back in my home school kicking it with some second grade zombies who LOVE me. Big time love me and wave their little arms off whenever they see me in the building with a class that is not them. It's all good, I love them right back. Well, most of them.

The day ended with the Spring Music program. We were to be entertained by the third and fourth graders singing their hearts out while doing silly hand and arm gestures. It was gearing up to be your classic spring program. On a side note, I've seen more winter and spring programs than probably anyone else on Earth. I average probably about four shows a season. I suspect that there are some teachers out there taking this day off on purpose just to miss the show! How shocking! I also average about three field days every year as well. I KNOW teachers dodge that day on purpose! But really I don't mind, it's a full hour that I don't have to teach and the kids sit there completely mesmerized during the whole thing.

This show yesterday was twelve songs long. I sighed as I read through the program and got as comfortable as possible in my fold-up chair. I nice relaxing hour was at hand. But, in the middle of song seven, something went very wrong. The zombies were singing and gesturing when suddenly a third grader, right in the front row, stopped and then threw up. It was just one quick BLAH and it was over. He missed himself completely but did get a couple of pom poms that were sitting on the floor in front of him.

Not an eye missed what happened and room shared a collective gasp. The music stopped and teachers flew in every direction; some towards the sick kid, others out the various doors and everyone shouting for the custodian. When Mr. F. did appear with a mop, bucket, broom, dustpan, roll of paper towels and the bag of orange stuff that cleans up puke, all the kids applauded. The kid had been bundled off by then and by some strange coincidence his mother was in the audience, with a clean shirt!

A few minutes later you never wouldn't have known there was a problem. The music started up again and the show continued. I have to say that the evil part of me was disappointed. When that kid barfed, I instantly foresaw the fabled chain reaction barf happening all over the gym. It could have been an unstoppable tidal wave of barf. It certainly would have been a best spring program ever performed in an elementary school.

The most amazing part of this is how it ended. Right in the middle of song twelve, the sick kid came back in the gym, took his place on the riser and joined in. He had a big silly grin on his face the whole time but the kids on both sides of him were giving him lots of room. Now if that doesn't get you an A in music class, then I don't know what will!

Story #2--Iced Tea Happiness

I won't bore you again with my love of iced tea and my ongoing search for good tea and the banishment of bad tea. Actually this story is about a waitress who if I had a Waitress Hall of Fame would be inducted today.

The Man and I went out to breakfast this morning at a location that has good tea. We both ordered iced tea and what arrived at the table blew me away. It was a regular glass of iced tea with lots of ice in a nice tall glass AND a second glass of tea with no ice. The second glass was for refilling the first, like having our own little pitcher of extra tea right at the table!

Now you are probably saying to yourself, "What they had there was a lazy waitress who wanted to make as few as trips possible to their table. She could probably tell looking at them that they were a couple of tea buffalo and would wear her out with their perpetually empty glasses." And you may be right. Hell, you probably are right on the money. But I don't even care. That extra glass of tea made my whole day! That and not being around zombies today.


Weaver said...

the numbers love any story with puke in it, so thanks for the bedtime story here (yes, I took the laptop up with me and laughed out loud when I read it so had to read it to them :))

Anybody smart enough to bring extra tea is a hero to me. Not lazy, a total hero!!! especially if it's good tea (I'm so sick of bad tea!)

L. Bishop said...

J: Mass hysteria barfing happened to us once at Jake's 3rd grade birthday party. It was a 'Fear Factor" theme. Each child was given one chocolate covered raisin and told it was a chocolate covered ant....24 kids barfing everywhere.... I have it on video. We were at Elywood and someone called the POLICE!!! OMG!

J. said...

Weaver- You and I are sisters in so many ways, but tea is really what holds us together!

L.- I am speechless at your story. That the cops showed up is the best part! I NEVER want to see that video!

Nance said...

The fact that police were called for barfing is stellar. That alone is worthy of a blog.

Aside from commenting on your comments, this post is the best one ever. If I had one of those ridiculous Blog Awards, I would give it to you...something like "Most Blogalicious Post". Something like that. Go find one on someone else's blog and steal it.

charcuteire said...

On field days, back when my wife was doing them with our primary schooler (now 32 and out of our hair), she was once paired with a woman who was a NYC Corrections Officer, Riker's Island.

After the field trip the woman told my wife she was taking the next day off as 2nd graders were harder to control than convicts.

J. said...

Nance: Your compliment is award enough for me. Thanks for the kudos.

Charcuteire: Thanks for commenting at the Cafe! My father works at a prison and he's told me that our jobs are very comparable except that I don't have little boxes I can lock my "inmates" away in!