Monday, February 02, 2009

A Boot to the Face

When I go zombie sitting I have a certain set of clothes that I guess could be considered my work uniforms. This set consists of three pairs of pants, assorted tops and sweaters and three shapeless dresses. They are dull, comfortable and if I ruin a piece with a Sharpie or an Expo marker it won't be a big loss. The saying is that you dress for the job you want, not the job you have. That won't work for me because the job I want is Mattress Tester and wearing pajamas to elementary school just won't fly.

In the shoe department, I'm a little more varied and my school shoes make it out in everyday life. But my favorite pair of school shoes, my little black boots that go with everything, were completely and utterly at the end of the line. Yesterday when the Boy and I were out shoe shopping I found the sweetest little pair of black boots that could not only replace the worn out pair but surpass them in style department never looking back. And they were on clearance. Score!

I had first grade zombies today. Donning one of my worst school "uniforms" but paired with my new kicks I set out for a day of loose teeth and bathroom emergencies. First grade zombies, like your own children, time their compliments for when you are looking your crappiest. The more compliments I get, the more I start to worry about how I really look. Today started out suspiciously sweet. Right away a little zombie girl made a beeline to where I was sitting.

"You look cute today", she said smiling at me.

"Why thank you. So do you." She bounced off to put away her coat, tripping over herself as she went. I scowled to myself. It wasn't even 9 AM yet. Could I look that bad so early? Another zombie girl wandered over.

"Are you our sub today?" She was crazy tall for a first grader.

"Yep." You have to keep your answers simple around zombies like this.

"I like your sweater."

"Really? Thank you."

"I like your hair too."


"My mom has glasses like yours."

"Does she?" Knowing little zombies like I do I knew it was best to stop her now before she revealed something I really didn't want to know. "Do you like my boots?" I asked, "They're new." I turned a foot out for her to examine.

"Eh." She shrugged and headed for the pencil sharpener.

Right there that proves these boots are hot! Unfortunately, right now my feet are killing me. Breaking in sweet new boots in a first grade classroom, where you just pace the entire day, was not the best move.


Nance said...

Holy crap, J.! I thought you were going to blog about this!

Weaver said...

totally loved your story about your new boots but I must admit that the stripper boot story made me blow iced tea out my nose laughing :)

The Constant Complainer said...


Enjoyed the post. Followed the link the PD put up for your site the other day.

Read and enjoyed a number of your posts. When I like what I see, I always comment. And will be sure to visit back.

a.k.a. The Constant Complainer

J. said...

Nance: You scooped me on that story. That's a gem!

Weaver: Out of your nose? That sounds terribly painful!

CC: Thanks for dropping by! Comments make my day!